after a cup of hard liquer and a swanky dinner, it dawned on me that everyone has to be practical if not life would be unable to go on. (actually it was more of a cup of lychee and vege-bread) but that's not the point. It just seemed so pointless to remain in the dreamy state of mind that one day, yes one fine day, there would be a knight in shiny armour for me. So goes the song, dream dream dream...get the hint? dream on... time to wake up and smell the flowers and yes, be more practical.
thats the problem with some people. All they want to do is dream, think ahead, plan the future and yet when that time comes, often it never works. Yet, in some cases, having a dream is always for the better, at least that's one thing that prevents us from becoming absolutely hopeless.
All through my life, from the time i was a teensy tiny tot until the person i am now, i've never been much of an achiever. Sometimes, i try so hard that when i eventually fall, it makes the fall feel much harder. That's why all through my life, the term okay has been my best pal. It's ok la...everything's fine...i don't mind... You know, that kind of thing, the kind of person who has no mind of her own or do not want to exert herself. Life just washes over me, like the incoming wind of such. Fast and slow, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes meandering...never the way i want it to be.
Before i came here, i never expected or even dreamt about pursuing an overseas education. Firstly, cause i was unwilling to leave all that i was comfortable with in life, the love i had, the friends i made. My greatest fear was to lose all that although now i realized that i never lost them for they always remained here in my heart, in my memory. Just there's a pause until next time. Life goes on doesnt it? Yet, on arriving here in an extremely lonely state, having nothing but...well my highly unreliable brother and 2 bags of luggage, i felt like those illegal immigrants who had to start all over again, life anew or so it seemed. Friends were indeed hard to come by, especially for people like me who had to make that extra effort to make friends due to my own introvertness, yet...i did make many good and lasting friends, that's one thing that heartens me.

Nevertheless, what really made me realize that i had to be more then what i believed i could only achieve was the period when i had to work at MCP(media corp publishing). Life was far from easy, though i only went there 2 times a week, increasing to 5 times in the last month was the fact that i worked from 8.30-6pm. That probably was what working life was, and yet, that working experience and the people i dealt with, made me believe that without a proper and good degree i could be no one. Private school was my other option but really, what kind of a degree would that be if the certificate had in small prints, "studied through correspondence", which instantly equate to, not so qualified qualification?
Anyway, i guess it was the fact that my brother who did trinity foundation had just entered melbourne university and the fact that i felt i was in a hopeless state physically and mentally, exhausted from having to fight against actions that were for the best. At that stage, i couldnt think of any worse senerio except to be grateful and all for what i could have.

Watching MG1 made me realize that dreams are what drives us. Dreams are what keeps us going. without them, i would probably be in polytechnic at the grand age of 21. That would certainly drive me berserk. So here i am, sitting in our nice apartment in Melbourne, merrily typing away on my laptop, staring at an unmoving screen that flickers under the lighting of my room. Really... Did my dream have to be so warped that i had to drop everything in singapore, give up everything? yes it did. For my sake, my family's sake. It was of course, for the better. Everything's for the better. For now, i'm getting a little homesick. We'II just have to wait and see then...