watched leslie's last film: "inner sense".
talking about dealing with the inner demons that plague us.
somehow i find it seems scarely in relation to everything or everyone i noe.

guys gerls alike.

people acting up for no reason or rhyme.
trying to be normal and pass off as humans.
but actually we are very alien in our own skin.
in other words, we do not fit in well at all.

all we do is try to hide, to not let people know that within us,
we all hold a deep dark secret that has scarred us forever,
but that we cant let it get to us just because of the consequences.

for me, its probably in the arena of love.

but now. just now.
when you say no when i ask prettily,
although we've been together for 6,
and apart for 3 overseas.
my heart still breaks.

your on the chase.
hunting for your next victim.
just because you can,
and just because you desire.
and here i am all hung up still.
trying to fight it,
trying to fit into the society,
wearing the mask that i've torn from the coverings of my heart,
the very flesh that had preserved my sanity for so long.

not to hurt either of us again,
you out of guilt,
i out of pain.
i'ii leave.

the conventions of love are just so weak in rules,
and yet so complexed in its nature.
you say we have too much history,
our lives too interweave to leave us be,
that eventually if fate would have,
we would be together.

so be it.
i've tried many times to calm my heart,
to gain my sanity back.
and this time round,
will be like last time.