love is here or not?

i've always had a fear, the fear of being left being left behind, the fear of seeing clearly. life would seem so lonely and unpredictable.
when one sees clearly, too clearly, sometimes the disillusion they experience would only drive them up and over a wall. to me,
sometimes life in its fogginess seem almost beautiful, dream-like.

this comes in with university life. it gets awfully lonely with all that competition and new friends-to-be around. just wish that sometimes
life would be made much easier, much more comforting. instead, what we get is the constant fear and look-out for things that might make
us feel better. company, friends, food...anything that would sooth our ruffled wings...things just change, never seems to pause and smell the
roses. really wish that time would stop for a while, take a big breathe of freedom before returning to our mundane everyday life.

dont everyone wish that life was a dream? well, i do. sometimes when i wake up, the disappointment i feel makes life seem almost flat and
insignificant. nobody beside me when i awake, nobody to hong me to sleep when i feel depressed and displaced. havent you felt, at least once
in your life, a feeling of utter despair? when you cant control things or when things are out of control? for example, a boyfriend going out with another
girl just because his girlfriend never stopped him?

are some words just so hard to utter? are some things just beyond the your control?
the answer to these questions is very simple. just open your heart and think for once with your mind. often it is said that women are ruled by their heart,
and never by their mind. men on the other hand are ruled by their mind and they tummies. so women out there, heed this advice, think more with your mind,
be less sensitive, for often we think too much that we feel our head and heart would burst from all this torments. men too shld listen more to their women,
not because of their illogical over sentimental repressions, but because of one simple fact. love. only love can bring together a couple and break them apart.
then there's the question, how worthy is love when we cant even comprehend the value of it.

i'm a person who cant trust very easily. for me to even put some faith in my friends, in my family, in my love, thats really hard to come by. and i believe so
with most people around. who would open their heart just so as to be hurt all over again. women can forgive but rarely can they forget, and after they've been
hurt once, its really hard to open up and love again, least to the same man that hurt them. i'm not generalizing all love, but to acertain extent, love takes a form,
a shape that is reflected in every lover's eyes, in every lover's belief: that by loving, one would be loved back.


there are many kinds of lover, the jealous lover, the i-dont care lover, the obstinate lover, the i-own u lover...so many, so different and yet all share a simple concept,
that...love wasnt meant to hurt but to love and be loved. if given a choice, most women might choose love over wealth and fortune, loving rather then to be loved, though...
of coz i might be wrong...optimistic lovers who believe in true love that takes time to manifest like Charlotte in SATC, are rare and hard to come by. maybe becoz love is
hard to come by that i've become more of a skeptic...but again, i could be wrong. love is here and love would stay just as long as one treasures it, it could come in the
form of a loving puppy, a loving mom, a loving lover...whatever the case. the keyword is to TREASURE, and to believe in both yourself and the person who so adores u...
dont give up and never ever lose faith.


-dedicated to all the single women who have yet found true love.