Been back a week or so, and again... the feeling of comfort and loneliness has sunk in good.
maybe i'm just a little homesick.
maybe i'm just a little bit of me.
maybe, maybe, maybe...

for people who know me well, i punctuate many things with a mere maybe,
then i'ii turn around and say, hey! i should have, i could have, i would have.
but now...
my maybe's just mean i'm thinking.
calculating what and how and who and why, this and that and these and those, are happening.

everything's well said for nothing.
anyway, been applying for internships...which for our arts students' ...dont come easy.
but i'm still trying, because i can and i will and i would.

naggy aint i.

it just all came crashing down that maybe just maybe i should stop all my fuss.
why?
because the world could come to its end, like. NOw. *snaps fingers*

Tsunamis... earthquakes... flash floods....

but all we care is about little old me. BooHOo HOo.
why, maybe thats the only way we can distract ourselves from the bigger issues that truly matter.
For instance, when i was back in Singapore, there were television NEwSLINEs...that talked about nothing but pick pocketing at chinatown, tree loggers' ban....

nothing but small issues for a smaller country.

then i went into malaysia, not too long after the aftermath of bird flu, tsunami hit coastal regions... and there was nothing.

the people there was everything but upset and uncivilised.
in fact, the thing i enjoyed the most, were the people, the sights, the sounds...
heck, we even met a friendly malay guy who helped me do up two very lovely garfield keychains.

yes... i love garfield. not because of anything, but just because he says everything i want to say.
his the free person whom everyone wants to be.
to stop being so nice, and just heck care about the world.
Laying back and letting people scratch my tummy.
...

BUt. things arent that easy, and its just me.
I just want things to be perfect.


was talking to S the otherday over dinner.
Looks V personality.
hell, i'm always a personality person, but then, whose to argue over the looks department?
it doesnt mean that as people, we get who we deserve.
in fact, how do you noe you deserve or they deserve you?

its time to just sit back and relax.
Time will tell us what is real and what is not.
Til then, we'ii all on god's ride.
If you want to get off, there's only one way.
Down.