its been a long week.
times like these that wear you out and down.
spent the week with my relatives living in glen waverly.
it was like a big outing, where things never change, only children grow older.
there's my big aunty who has 4 kids, now 3, but their OLD.
my eldest coz is about 41, my youngest uncle is 40 on the otherhand. SO... its apparent that my aunty gave birth to my cousin one year before my grandma had my UNCLE. -__-"
well, my eldest coz has 2 children, really cute pups, 5 and 3, Gerard and Audrey, while my other female coz who is 30, has 2 also, 4 and 2. its ironic as my biggest aunty had first 3 sons then at last a daughter, while my uncle whom my gran stays with (used to, rather), has 3 daughters and still pines for a son.

i'm not too sure if my parents would agree that having a boy and girl is a good thing, but at least, they treat us relatively equal. and thats the best part of it all i figure.

anyway, my granny, in all her 80 years of health remains the alertest granny i have ever seen, bursting with energy, where only a constant shower of affection can reveal it. i love her to bits. -_- but the week i spent there was also the most desperate week i've had.
its just the little things,
like when my gran would keep talking about the past, where my granpa was a tailor, and how he would tailor for western women mainly, and the war, and how he died of cancer, and of my uncle who drowned, of my big aunty whom doesnt want her around, of my little uncle whom she dots but doesnt want her to look after his children, and my uncle's wife i see a 300% more then my elusive uncle, and the fact that she cooks my gran meals on a daily basis yet her scolding my gran,...
the little endless bits of loose ends that trail a long way and never ends. it sickens the heart especially when i see my gran like that.
mom wants her to come to live in singapore, come back rather, but she prefers oz i guess.
its family politics i guess, the bad and the good that has to come hand-in-hand.
my big aunty, who like my dad has a stilted relationship with granny. my dad who always blamed my gran for not sending him overseas to study, my mom who had a chance but gave it up to have me and my bro. Time's like that makes things hard. others make it better.

i know our presence made my gran happy. never saw her so active in ages though her rheumatism and all kicked in quite a bit. had a great laff watching margaret cho didnt we gran?
wish you wouldnt be so pessimistic, wish you wouldnt be so depressed over everything that happens.
what i see is a beautiful gran who is bogged down by issues that shouldnt be there in the first place.
all i know is how i feel after i've helped you set up your cd player to watch the serials,
how you would mutter to yourself after repeated watching the same show over and over,
laughing softly to yourself.
maybe its just something that gran parents do,
i hope i dont become like you for i want to be me,
but dont worry, our family falls into place like pieces in a puzzle.
just like that.
that's when we're together after a long time.
after a long long time.
i'ii come visit very very soon.
i promise.