i've juz sunk to a newest low. hate goin thru all these things when i can do wout them.
y do i cause myself such pains? i'm a sucker for pain i figure.
mini - me is gone to mousie heaven and i was probably the cause of it. as much as i hate
to admit, i prob might never be able to have children. becoz they prob wld die when i carry and
plop their little fragile heads against the floor.
talk about a traumatic childhood.
k commented tt i was a cold fish like person not to feel for mini-me. but reallie, how much can
i truly feel? i love her and yet it was my responsiblity to look after her. the truth o the matter
rite now is tt,
i'm feeling empty inside. really empty.
can you imagine when u stumble into your house in the wee hours of the morning,
wondering where the familiar wheel sound is gone,
see a limp mini-me, and the first thing tt struck me,
i killed her.
i did.
last nite i had a reallie sleep less nite, and i seemed to have heard this sharp pitched
woman talk to me in my semi-conscious condition.
maybe it was my conscious scolding me,
maybe Mau is right,
1/5 people in our psych class are becoming schizo and i was one of them.
mavbe the evil voices made me subconsciously will mini-me to her death
maybe i'm just a blabbering idiot who cant seem to do things right,
cant keep little pets who are so impt to me.


ahuh....now my table is wet...so k, i proved u wrong,
i am not a cold fish, infact, i can feel.
but to wat extent u must show that feeling is reallie debateable.
i dun want to spend the whole nite mourning over mini-me,
and to make matters worse,
i threw her in the rubbish.


not becoz i COULD NOT CARE LESS
but becoz therez no alt, unless stuffing her and then mounting her ontop of my
desk would be better.
the cat that prowls at nite, and dae,
might dig her up from under the flowers i initially wanted to bury her under.
she and the flowers would become one...
and when the pollen from the flowers float away merrily in the wind....
i might actually get one stuck up my nose ...
and we would become one..
Mini-me and big-fat me...


i want her to noe tt if she reallie hates me,
i understand,
now she is in animal heaven,
maybe she can start bitching w the rabbit i dropped when i was 8,
the hamster tt wiggled into the ol ancient cupboard and never returned,
the hamster babies who got eaten by their mommie,
who later ran away when the cage was left open becoz i reallie hated
her for eating the babies...bitch...
the hamster daddie, who also ran away becoz i was prob poking in too much,
fifi- my silky...my love, who ran away when there was a thunder storm,
making me regret teaching to jump so high...
prob in a cooking pot, or claypot dish...
and the ducklings that my mom forced me to set free into bishan park,
might have become peking ducks in the hawker centre near my place...
and sold back to me...
the tortise tt grew too big and me n kor threw out the balcony...
for watever i did,
pls forgive me bcoz i'm not good w little creatures, neither w the big ones.
but i'm alwaz trying....
pple alwaz try and they need a second chance, which i reallie shldnt get...
watever, juz noe tt i loved u all, and tt those who didnt love me back...
good for u...
for those who did,
i'm sorry...reallie am....at least our love was mutual...and even though our
relationship didnt last,...u alwaz have a place in my heart. reallie do.